"masking" is like a double meaning because this song is about isolation of various kinds, and caring about people even when it seems like you can't connect with them. When I was a child I was diagnosed with autism and Nonverbal Learning Disorder but both of those could have been misdiagnosed trauma - regardless ive had a hard time with relationships and sometimes people think I'm an asshole when I'm literally just trying my best. In today's lingo "masking" refers to the ways a person with a disorder or disability expresses themselves when they want to appear "neurotypical" (whatever that means.) It's a survival mechanism but honestly I've found it pretty freaking harmful both to my own mental health and to my relationships.
Before getting good at music I really thought that hiding my disorder was my only chance at becoming successful. Instead I was really just yanking peoples' chains and causing a lot of turmoil. I was in a very lonely place when I wrote this song. I think I can connect to people through my art and I'm finally starting to accept who I am and I've never felt better about it!
lyrics
ive been waiting for nothing at alll
im not supposed to know you, i shouldnt get involved
but im here now, i want to sound out
energy, it's all movement
i wanna see you smile again
i said it before this time i meant it
i wont mess up this bad again
i love myself and i miss my friends
i wore a mask before everyone was doing it
this'd be easier in person
energy, it picks up on me
of course youd know
im still learning
i never was good enough
but im improving
and magic wont work on me
im not stupid
i wanna see you smile again
i said it before this time i meant it
i wont mess up this bad again
i love myself and i miss my friends
thisd be easier in person
i wore a mask before everyone was doing it
energy, it picks up on me
energy, here to infinity
energy, here to infinity
I've been doing a lot of inner child healing and OLDKIDME by Jesse Stout couldn't have come out at a better time. This album is a masterpiece and is impossible to describe. NO SKIPS 5/5 Zander Yates
Fósil is the newest album by Tres Leches, two of my best friends and my old bandmates from when I lived in Seattle. This album is FIRE and some of the best punk rock Ive heard in a long time. 5/5 Zander Yates