Masking

from Delete by Zander Yates

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about

"masking" is like a double meaning because this song is about isolation of various kinds, and caring about people even when it seems like you can't connect with them. When I was a child I was diagnosed with autism and Nonverbal Learning Disorder but both of those could have been misdiagnosed trauma - regardless ive had a hard time with relationships and sometimes people think I'm an asshole when I'm literally just trying my best. In today's lingo "masking" refers to the ways a person with a disorder or disability expresses themselves when they want to appear "neurotypical" (whatever that means.) It's a survival mechanism but honestly I've found it pretty freaking harmful both to my own mental health and to my relationships.

Before getting good at music I really thought that hiding my disorder was my only chance at becoming successful. Instead I was really just yanking peoples' chains and causing a lot of turmoil. I was in a very lonely place when I wrote this song. I think I can connect to people through my art and I'm finally starting to accept who I am and I've never felt better about it!

lyrics

ive been waiting for nothing at alll
im not supposed to know you, i shouldnt get involved
but im here now, i want to sound out
energy, it's all movement

i wanna see you smile again
i said it before this time i meant it
i wont mess up this bad again
i love myself and i miss my friends
i wore a mask before everyone was doing it
this'd be easier in person
energy, it picks up on me

of course youd know
im still learning
i never was good enough
but im improving
and magic wont work on me
im not stupid

i wanna see you smile again
i said it before this time i meant it
i wont mess up this bad again
i love myself and i miss my friends
thisd be easier in person
i wore a mask before everyone was doing it
energy, it picks up on me
energy, here to infinity
energy, here to infinity

credits

from Delete, released May 20, 2023

license

about

Zander Yates Seattle, Washington

Recommendations

discography

Delete

May 2023
The Singularity

Dec 2020
One Step

Jun 2018
ESC Key

Jun 2017
Step One

Feb 2017

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I've been doing a lot of inner child healing and OLDKIDME by Jesse Stout couldn't have come out at a better time. This album is a masterpiece and is impossible to describe. NO SKIPS 5/5 Zander Yates
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